Say Yes To Yourself
This post might be a little different than what you've seen thus far. In the past few weeks, I've had three significant experiences that I've been sitting with.
The presidential debate and a series of SCOTUS decisions that have sent me spiraling.
An impactful focus group discussion as part of a project to understand health equity in the Black community in part of South St. Pete, where I live.
Reading Jenifer Lewis's Walking in My Joy…in These Streets.
I'll share a little bit more about each and how they all relate to saying yes to yourself in both big and small ways.
The debate and recent SCOTUS decisions
I'm gonna be real here and say that I have been on a nice, long streak of avoiding the news. I don't read about it and I don't talk about it, but I do deeply care about it. So much so that it's challenging for me and my mental health to be bombarded every day with headlines that make me wonder if the world as we know it is completely falling apart. I've been saying yes to myself by saying no to the news, and setting boundaries around what I will talk about and when, even (and especially) with loved ones. This is always particularly important at work, as we may have colleagues who have different experiences and perspectives. It's also important if talking about hard issues is your work. How often do you intentionally ask what people want to talk about? What do your customers, patients, students, or clients want to know? What do they care about?
I'm reminded of a key lesson in public health communications - treating everything like a crisis and focusing on the negative reinforces feelings we may have that problems are unsolvable. I want to solve problems and I want to believe that I have the power to create a more just world. In the public health communications work I do, I incorporate lessons from the work of Jonathan Haidt. One lesson? Don't insulate yourself from information that challenges your world view. To the contrary - seek it out. But you also have to protect your energy. Saying yes to yourself sometimes means setting boundaries around what you will give your attention to.
The New Yorker interview: Jonathan Haidt wants you to take away your kid's phone, covering Haidt's new book The Anxious Generation and the impact of smartphones and social media on mental health among youth.
An eye-opening focus group
As part of a project I'm working on to understand racial health equity in South St. Pete, the research team is hosting a series of focus groups. We have been intentional in asking aspirational questions. What makes your neighborhood healthy? What are your dreams for your neighborhood or community? In one conversation, I was hit hard by this: if you want to keep people from advancing, if you are trying to keep people from getting to their full potential, you limit their resources. I suppose this stood out to me because I know this to be true - that is my work in public health policy - but it's encouraging to hear it discussed among residents as a root cause of current challenges, from housing to jobs to food and nutrition. The answer from the group? We need to be intentional about having these kinds of conversations and building on them to take action, including voting. Voting decides who creates the laws, policies, practices, and norms that dictate our lives and wellbeing.
Walking in My Joy
My book club recently read Walking in My Joy, a book that had me deep in thought about my own existence. One of the sections that stood out to me most is a story Jenifer shares about waking up in a funk one day and canceling all of her meetings. I thought back on how many days I've woken up in a funk and didn't want to talk to people, discuss ideas, or accomplish anything - but I did anyway (thanks capitalism!). Healthy boundaries start with recognizing your body's cues (headache? fatigue? anxiety? dread?) and then making a decision that best supports what you need. That is the epitome of saying yes to yourself.
One overarching theme in the book is about finding your calling, and the stories shared explore Jenifer's activism. For me, this book was a call to action. The more you say yes to yourself, the closer you get to finding your calling. But more important than that, no matter who you are, you can use your platform to advocate for what and who you care about. Jenifer Lewis knew that she was called to use her platform to get people engaged and to rally people to vote. Perhaps you've seen her singing to #GetYourAssOutAndVote. While the book is largely focused on the 2020 election, this quote is so relevant now:
"If one of us is sick, we all are. And when you apply that concept to politics and everything else, you get a sense of how much trouble we are in as a world community."
Also, sharing this video for a little fun...and motivation:
Tying it all together
What does it mean to say yes to yourself at work? I've been exploring that question in this newsletter. It means taking vacation and mental health days, saying no to toxic co-workers or toxic work environments, deciding how and if you want to show up for meetings, turning down projects, asking for a raise, being yourself and expressing yourself, and so much more. But we cannot have equitable and inclusive workplaces if we don't have the laws and the enforcement mechanisms to create them. Work is an integral part of our lives. With a traditional 5-day workweek, you spend 260 days or about 70% of your year at work if you don't take vacation. Work is very much a part of our communities and what shapes our lives.
Today, I'm here to say that saying yes to yourself means showing up at the polls this November. Voters decide who makes, interprets, and enforces our laws, and if we don't show up, our voices, our perspectives, and the dreams we have for our communities are not represented.
I usually have sections in this newsletter answering these four questions:
What boundaries are at play?
What policies are at play?
Who is most impacted?
What can you do with this information?
What I'd like to suggest to you today is that everything is at play and we are all impacted. A poll by Navigator Research published in March 2024 found that most Americans are concerned about threats to the Constitution and to democracy. What would that poll look like today, particularly after a series of stinging SCOTUS rulings and the fallout from the presidential debate? The poll also found that Americans across party lines associated freedom, the rights of the people, and voting with the concept of democracy.
Of course, the work of Jonathan Haidt tells us that concepts like "freedom" may vary by political leaning, but that's why one of the lessons from today's newsletter is about having intentional conversations.
What can you do? I hope that this article helps you to think about how you are saying yes to yourself in both small and big ways. Take naps but also get your ass to the polls. Here are some other tips:
Find your calling. Maybe you already know what that is. Maybe you're still trying to figure it out. No matter where you are on your journey, be intentional about knowing what fills your cup and then fight for the conditions that will allow you do that.
Register to vote or check your voter registration status: https://vote.gov/
Spread the word. We must have conversations about what makes us healthy and about what our dreams are for our family and our community. We all thrive when we are more connected and when we work together toward common goals.
Support the work of organizations like Vot-ER , Healthy Democracy Healthy People , and Civic Health Alliance that are working to improve health by improving civic health.
Learn more about how people and places can thrive when everyone can participate in the their community in the 2024 National Findings Report by County Health Rankings & Roadmaps: Creating Thriving Communities Through Civic Participation.
"Sometimes I wonder how the world would look if every single one of our cups were overflowing."
I chose the cover quote today from Walking in My Joy because it perfectly encapsulates where I am at personally and professionally, and I think is a debate we are having as a country. If I say yes to myself and fill my own cup first, I can give more to others. If I say yes to myself, I sometimes say no to people and businesses and events that don't create a more just world (vote with your dollar, y'all). If I say yes to myself and vote, I can shape important policy decisions that impact me, my family, and my community. Imagine a world where our collective goal is to make sure every single person's cup is overflowing. Saying yes to yourself means advocating for the things that make you feel healthy, safe, and connected and recognizing your role in advocating for better conditions for all.
I'm out here in these streets trying to get people to vote and protecting our democracy!